Thursday, November 26, 2009

One Year

A letter to my son on his first birthday. I've seen others do this on their blogs and thought it was such a good idea, I had to copy it.

My Dear, Sweet Camden,

It is so hard to believe that one year ago you had just arrived in our lives. After nine months of a relatively uncomplicated pregnancy, you made a rough and rather explosive arrival into this world. I knew our lives would change, but I had no idea they would change this much or that I would be able to love a human being as much as I love you. My friends all told me, but there is no way to describe it. It has been a roller coaster ride this past year with moments of utter frustration and moments of complete wonder.
Cam.Nov08-96

You have grown into such a big, beautiful and smart boy. It is amazing to see how much growing you have done in just one year. No wonder you're always so hungry!

You now let me sleep until about 5:00 AM before needing some more milk (yes I'm still breast feeding you, but we're tapering down....you'll have to learn to like that cow's milk here soon buddy!). It's hard to believe there was a time I was up with you every 2-3 hours to feed you. What a blur those first two months were. You were a pretty good baby overall - only crying to eat or if you were tired. I just never knew I would be so tired. You made good improvements in your sleep ability, but we can't say you officially "slept through the night" until you were about 10 1/2 months old. As much as we hated it, we had to just let you cry because you didn't know that you could put yourself to sleep without some milk or cuddling. As with everything else, you were a fast learner.
Zonked

You came out bald, and now you still have a peculiar hair line, but at least you have hair. It's not thick, but it is blond as can be and smooth as silk with a funny little curl forming at the bottom. You've been in cloth diapers all you life so you look like you have a big butt, but really you've been growing along at a fast clip and in a very propotional manner - holding steady in the 75th percentile. At your one year visit you were 25 pounds and 30 inches tall.

You eat with fervor. I honestly don't know if you would stop eating as you never appear full. Sometimes you start playing with your food and throw some on the floor, so I take that as a cue that you might be done. I do not know where you pack all that food away. I'm happy that you have not been a picky eater so far - I'm sure that will change, but for now, you eat broccoli, lentil beans, avocado and anything else I put in front of you. But you do have some favorites - you are very partial to cottage cheese and bread products. If you see either of these on the plate, you will throw a fit until they are all gone, refusing everything else.
A good eater, just like his parents

Over the last couple months you have learned so many things and are able to show us that you know these things. We have been pretty lazy with the baby signing, but in the last few weeks you have really picked up on some. You recently starting signing 'more' while eating and thank God for that as before it was a bunch of screaming in between bites, as we couldn't shovel the food in fast enough. Now, it's just a cute banging of one fist on the other open palm - you're own unique version of the sign, but we'll take it. You can sign 'sleep', 'round and round' when you see a fan or wheel) and 'fish'. But more impressively, your verbal skills continue to amaze us. You say truck, clock and sock (they all sound the same: "guck"), but you clearly know the difference. Your first word was doggee, and now it comes out as dogggg..........geee. You make your own unique sounds for duck, bear, cat, monkey, dog, and bird. When we say, "A cat goes....", you respond with the appropriate sound. When we tell you to sit down or stand up, you do so. When we tell you to go get your monkey or bear, you toddle off and go find it and bring it back. And the list goes on. It just continues to amaze us how much you comprehend and how many new things you learn each day.

You love your books. We leave a bunch out on a shelf within your reach and you pull them down one by one and sit in a messy pile of books, reading through each one of them. You've been turning pages for months now, and often times prefer to flip through big people books with the thin pages. When you really want a specific book, you pick it up and reach it out to us and start giggling deliriously until we start reading it to you.

I like books.

You have the sweetest laugh, and it comes easily. A little game of peek-a-boo, the mention or sight of food, a game of tug-o-war, or the proposition of a book being read to you all gets you laughing. It has always been one of our greatest joys to hear you laugh - even though you seem to be amused at the strangest and simplest of things. I hope you always stay this lighthearted.





You started walking when you were ten months old, and haven't slowed down since. You zoom on down the sidewalk, trail or around and around the house. You rarely look up while you're walking and sometimes swing your left arm is strong determination. The only thing that slows you down is a big ol truck with big ol wheels. You love your doggie and wander on down the hallway each morning looking for her first before all things. Gracie has been very tolerant of you and really only disliked the stage where you would grab her hair in your tight little palms and pull. Now she is still more interested in food than anything else, but doesn't mind as you pet her gently and climb over the top of her.

You consume our lives. There are times I can't wait to put you down for a nap so that I can have some quiet time, and then 30 minutes after you've been asleep, I become restless and wonder when you are going to wake up. I love the first moments after you wake up. You are so cuddly, and wrap your arms around my neck and nestle your head onto my shoulder. I can never get to work in time because I fret for every last second as I try to get out the door either saying good bye to you over and over or making sure whoever is taking care of you knows exactly when you napped and what you've eaten and what you should eat for lunch (because of course no one else could figure any of that out). As my work day ends, I am so anxious to get home especially if I know you're still awake and I might get one last hug before bed. As you sleep soundly in your crib, your father and I often stand together and stare at you and marvel at how incredibly cute you are and how lucky we are to have you in our lives. I often cringe when I first hear your cry at 5:00 AM, but once I have you in my arms and you start drinking, I forgive you all over again.

I try to check myself when I start to get frustrated, or exhausted or get feelings of wondering when I may have more than 30 minutes to myself that I can spend on something other than dishes, laundry or bills and remind myself how fast this time is going by and it will all be a blur someday. As I rock you to sleep at night I find myself hugging you tighter and not wanting to put you down, cherishing this time in our lives together. There will come a day when you will become independent and may treat me with indifference, whereas now, you have an unconditional love for me and your father. You lunge for us when you're upset, you give me the widest grin when I walk in the door from work, and you feel safe in our arms when you're feeling tired, sad or scared.

You are a precious little boy and have brought such joy into our lives. You have no idea how much you mean to us and how lucky we feel to have such a perfect little guy. We can't imagine our lives without you in it and I can't wait to see the boy and man you are going to become. We love you Ahgee!

11 Days Old


Sweet

10 1/2 months

Big Boy